Best Viewed With Eyes Wide Open

Where I'm At 2012

2011-12-29T19:23:00.001-08:00

Just in case you stumbled onto this old site:So I finally had my own domain a couple years back, www.munimunistories.com, but that fell by the wayside after a mishap with the hosting. So while I get my internet bearings once more, you can find me on Twitter (@elbertor) and on Tumblr.Later this year, the plan is to have another, more permanent online home, where I can post stuff about stuff, and serialize my current webcomics project. Fingers crossed.

Moving Day!

2009-08-27T00:42:00.000-07:00

It took ages, but my website is finally up! Munimunistories.com is me moving out of the blogspot apartments and into an online home of my own.

Update your bookmarks!

Blogspot has been good to me, so thank you thank you. But now I needs me a home to call my own. So long, thanks for all the fish, this is me, I'm signing off!

2009-08-25T06:09:00.001-07:00

For those who've been asking:

The first issue of Card Battler Teks! is now available in Sputnik Comics Store in Cubao X and Comic Odyssey in Robinsons Galleria.

Co-written by Arvin de Leon and illustrated by Kiko Dans (both former students of mine), Teks! follows the story of a young boy's journey to win the Nationwide Teks Championship Cup. It's high-octane, manga-style action for all-ages!

Card Battler Teks! In Stores Now!

2009-08-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

For those who've been asking:

The first issue of my newest comic book series Card Battler Teks! is now available in Sputnik Comics Store in Cubao X and Comic Odyssey in Robinsons Galleria.

Co-written by Arvin de Leon and illustrated by Kiko Dans (both former students of mine), Teks! follows the story of a young boy's journey to win the Nationwide Teks Championship Cup. It's high-octane, manga-style action for all-ages!

Vote with Your Mouse Clicks!

2009-08-18T06:22:00.000-07:00

It turns out at least one person likes my work, nominating me in the 2009 Komikon Awards. I received two nominations, one for Best Continuing Series for my work on Bakemono High, and another for Comic Aid Award, for my contributions to the local comics community. They even have a write-up for me:

Elbert Or is currently finishing his thesis as a final requirement for his MA in Education while teaching in Ateneo de Manila University. There he regularly incorporate comics and graphic novels in his freshman English Literature classes, and teaches comics production classes for their Fine Arts Program. He’s been conducting workshops and seminars across the country for Nautilus Comics, where he served as editor-in-chief for a couple of years.

Which is quite heart-warming, so yay.

Anyway, people can now vote from now until September 20, either by signing up on Deviantart and voting on their polls, or by filling up ballots at Comic Odyssey and Comic Quest outlets.

Edit: Apparently, non-Deviant Art users can now also vote online, by registering at the Komikon.org website and voting for Best Continuing Series and Comics Aid Award.

Yabang Pinoy...Yabang Dugong!

2009-08-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yabang Pinoy has finally released the first issue of their new online magazine! YP Mag is an eighty-plus page Flash-based magazine, although I think you can also download it in PDF format. The Yabang Pinoy Magazine contains, among other things, a new one-page comic from yours truly, Dunong Dugong:

Post-MCC Report

2009-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

I missed out on the last two MCC-related announcements, mostly because I was doing last minute prep work on the projects I wanted to announce in the first place.

Lyndon Gregorio, creator of Beerkada, and I put together a flipbook project specifically for the Metro Comic Con, called Pop Con! I drew a story he wrote, and he wrote a story I drew.

The last announcement I wanted to make was that, in addition to my new projects, my students also assembled projects of their own:

- a superhero anthology called "Who Can Save Us Now?",
- Bellboy and the Hotel Universe by Arvin de Leon and Alex Sandoval
- Made-Up by Arvin de Leon
- The Girl Who Turned Into A Fish by Mary Ranises, adapting a short story by Fidelis Tan
- A Love Story by Harvey King

My love love Lorra also contributed a comic book of her own, The Secret Lives of Super Wives:

Our projects sold really well over the weekend, with Card Battler Teks, PopCon! and Super Wives selling out by the end of the convention. But now is no time to rest on laurels! More projects are lined up: a new book release in time for the Manila International Book Fair, the Oni graphic novel to be released in October, another convention in October to prepare for, the website, the second issue of Teks, and a couple more book projects are all clamoring for my undivided attention. Now na, now!

Signing and Sketching at MCC

2009-08-04T18:50:00.000-07:00

In addition to exhibiting and selling my works at the MCC this weekend, I'll also be attending one of the comics panels there on Saturday. And then, on Sunday, I'll be joining the creators signing at the convention. There are actually signings scheduled throughout the con with all sorts of comic book creators, but I'll be sitting with Budjette Tan, Kajo Baldisimo, Gilbert Monsanto, Manix Abrera and others at the signing area on Sunday 11am - 2pm.

If you don't catch me there, though, try and drop by our booth! While you're at it, pick up any of the stuff we'll be selling there, including:

E-Shirts!

Limited-edition shirts designed by yours truly, made with 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration, and 100% cotton. I'll also be selling my books and comics projects, including one more new project which I'll announce...tomorrow!

Counting Down to MCC: Ready...Set...TEKS!

2009-08-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

This is me continuing the countdown to MCC this weekend with another announcement:

This Saturday I'm launching a new comic book series, Card Battler Teks! Co-written by Arvin de Leon and illustrated by Kiko Dans (both former students of mine), Teks! follows the story of a young boy's journey to win the Nationwide Teks Championship Cup. It's high-octane, manga-style action for all-ages!

Issue one comes out this Saturday, with a prequel chapter to be serialized online soon afterwards, to tide you over until the second issue comes out in October.

Bakemono...Hi!

2009-07-29T23:54:00.000-07:00

This month, Bakemono High goes through a minor makeover...featuring a new look for the school and some of the characters, including Max. It's also the first time my love love Lorra is getting published as my colorist and collaborator (oh, but most certainly not the last time -- just you wait til the Manila International Book Fair!)

And while the stories remain self-contained, this also marks the start of a subplot that will slowly develop over the next few months...The Mystery of the Phantom Photgrapher! Grab the August issue of K-Zone Magazine and check it out now! Now na, now!

In other news, the Metro Comic Con is debuting this weekend, with one of its seeming goals to become the local equivalent of the San Diego Comic Con. It'll be happening at Megatrade Halls 1&2 of SM Megamall from 10am to 9pm.

To help hype the event, I'll be making one announcement every day about something I'll be doing for Metro Comic Con. The first is that I'll be part of the Indie Comic Creators Panel on Saturday, 5pm, along with Budjette Tan, Gilbert Monsanto, and other comic book creators.

I'll also be setting up a booth on Saturday and Sunday, selling a number of items, including the debut of all-new comic book projects. I'll tell you about one of them...tomorrow!

On the Drawing Board

2009-07-03T19:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a preview of what I'm currently working on: the first is a pitch for a comic strip, which I'll be working on with co-writer Roy Agustin. I'm stretching myself again for this one, using a slightly different style than I'm used to, and coloring straight from pencils, rather than having to ink it. Just to see how it'll look.

The second image is for a book which I'll be releasing in time for the Manila International Book Fair. I'm especially excited about this one, because of the nature of the book and who I'm working with, but I'll give more details when the release draws nearer.

LET Exam, Part One

2009-04-04T17:30:00.000-07:00

Finished the first part of the Licensure Exam for Teachers, with more than two hours to spare. It wasn't as difficult as I feared it would be, though the challenge was multiplied by the fact that I was seated in front of the air-conditioner and so was freezing the whole time. A couple of the questions didn't make sense to me, and darn if I can tell what the difference between leptokurtic and platykurtic are. One question in particular put me in a moral quandary, as I had to choose between allowing the ends to justify the means, or if a bad deed done for the good of others is okay. As I shaded the answer I eventually settled with - honest answer or answer most likely to be considered the correct one? - I felt like my character was being judged right then and there. I also had to fight the urge to proofread the test questions, and focus on answering them instead.

Super Sketches - Flashing the Toilet

2009-04-02T18:24:00.000-07:00

Barry Allen is returning as the Flash! Yayness!

Super Sketches - Spider Pest

2009-03-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

I've always enjoyed superheroes, and dream of the day when I get to have my name on the credits page, writing or illustrating a superhero yarn. But I've long since realized I'm maybe not ever gonna get to draw traditional superheroes unless I reinvent the style that took me years to develop and grow used to. Jim Lee, I'm not.

Still, who knows? Maybe one of those books based on the animated shows. The Brave and the Bold, maybe. Or...the Spectacular Spider-Man!

And Now... A Cookbook Specially Made For Kids!

2009-03-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Next Saturday, finally, we're launching the San Miguel Pure Foods Kids Kitchen Camp Cookbook at Star City. It looks like they've a lot planned for the day! Here are the details, straight from the My Great Food Club website:

Let your kids enjoy a day of food finds, fun games and friendship!

On Saturday, March 28 at Star City, we bring you the Kids Kitchen Camp Cookbook,
a compilation of 30 kid-friendly and nutritious recipes from San Miguel Pure Foods.
Join us in an afternoon of cooking demos and kiddie workshops, storytelling activities
and more!

Enjoy great savings for the day as we offer the following:
* A 30% discount on your Kids Kitchen Camp Cookbook purchase at Star City (only for March 28)
* A Star City Ride-All-You-Can Ticket for only Php190 (original price at Php300)
* Free entrance tickets (original price at Php60) for the first 100 My Great Food Club ID cardholders (for one adult & one kid)

Registration starts at 2:00PM. For inquiries, call 632-2000 or 640-5453.

Hope to see you there!

Super Sketches - King of the Sea

2009-03-17T02:05:00.000-07:00

This is me drawing Aquaman, sort of, and attempting to incorporate a retro art style. I'm not sure how retro it actually looks, if it actually looks like something out of the 1950's, but I like how it turned out.

Fish on earth, goodwill to all mankind!

Summer Workshops in Fully Booked

2009-03-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

This May, I'm conducting comics workshops for Fully Booked -- one for kids and another for adults. The details are in the posters below; just click on each one to view them at a larger size.

Limited slots only! Sign up at the Customer Service area of Fully Booked High Street, or call 858-7000, 858-7036, 858-7037, or 858-7038. Full payment will be collected on the first day of the workshop. For inquiries about the course, e-mail brainfoodph(at)gmail(dot)com.

Are You On Facebook?

2009-03-01T16:01:00.000-08:00

There's an online comic book convention happening on Facebook, and it may be the first of its kind, so curious person that I am, I decided to set up a virtual table space for my work over there. Just to see what kind of interest it'll generate. The convention proper happens on March 12-15, 2009, but in the days leading up to it, I'll be posting all sorts of artwork from recent as well as upcoming projects.

If you're on Facebook, join in on the festivities and add my virtual convention table on your groups. Leave a note! See you there!

The Yellow Box

2009-02-19T15:57:00.000-08:00

At the mall, I was accompanying my niece to the ice cream stand and as we were going down the escalator, I turned around and saw her standing at the top, unmoving.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I started slowly stepping up the escalator, prompting stares at the other people in the mall. They must have been thinking, "Don't they have elevators in the planet where he came from?"

And Cheska pointed down and said, "I was just following instructions."

True enough:

I Breathe Comics: Bakemono High

2009-02-19T00:22:00.000-08:00

Every couple of months for the pages of K-Zone Magazine, I write and illustrate a comics series called Bakemono High, about a school full of monsters. The challenge I set for myself is to come up with two-page self-contained stories, treating each one like an improv performance where I just start by drawing panel one and see where the stories take me.

This one is an unpublished strip, inspired by some of my freshman English students.

Because Toys Can Always Be Bought

2009-02-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

My niece Cheska, currently in the midst of a Bakugan phase, has been bugging the adults -- her parents and grandparents -- at home, asking them to buy Bakugan not just for herself, but for her classmates as well.

When the adults made it clear that no, they will not be buying toys for her classmate, that just buying toys for my one niece was more than enough of an expense to send them to the po' house, she decided to change tactics and ask if she could give away her Bakugan instead.

"But I promised Sarah!" she argued, when the parents said no to her request. Old toys are one thing, but Cheska seemed intent on being charitable not just to Sarah, but to Billy and Andre and everyone else in her school as well. "Her mom won't buy her Bakugan!"

"Why won't her mom buy her Bakugan?"

"Because she says they're expensive," she said.

"O! You know naman pala it's expensive! You're just gonna give it away!" It becomes clear that there is a conflict of operational values here: my niece is intent on applying the value of generosity, while the adults are intent on not making my niece a pushover wuss who'll give away things to friends who, given that they study in an exclusive private school, are likely to be far from impoverished and in dire need for any more toys in their houses. There's another contradiction here: at home, Cheska's the typical self-absorbed six-year old, but she seems to be a poster child for charity in school.

Later, I approach my niece, "I don't understand. You're so selfish at home, always want to have everything, always your way, but with your classmates you want to give all your toys away..."

"Because eh! Papa and mama can always buy me new toys if I don't have toys, but if no one loves me at home I'll be super sad na and cry because they don't sell love in stores..."

I Breathe Comics: Happy Hearts Day

2009-02-09T16:45:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to wait until Thursday -- new comics day! -- or on February 14 before posting this, but I just couldn't wait. Today, patience is not one of my virtues.

Knee-deep now in illustration work, but I'm also preparing for comics production workshops this summer. I'll maybe have one in Fully Booked, and am wondering where else I can share what I've learned from the two years of teaching comics classes to college students. It's always interesting to see the talents in these venues, and I appreciate how teaching these classes not only helps me articulate aspects of the craft that have previously only been intuitive, they also help push the quality of my work, for fear of being left behind by aspiring artists.

I am the Silly

2009-02-08T02:38:00.000-08:00

Over dinner in a restaurant, Katy Perry starts singing "Hot N' Cold" and

I Breathe Comics: Thursdays with Miko 4

2009-02-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

The end of the first Thursdays with Miko story. I'm trying something new out next Thursday, and I'll see what I can do too about revealing a bit more about my next big comic book project. In the meantime, enjoy!

Thanks to Roy Agustin, who wrote the first Thursdays with Miko plot on a scrap of scratch paper and left me to panel the story out and dialogue it all on my own. Maaaan!

Get Your Bakemono High in This Month's K-Zone!

2009-02-02T16:37:00.000-08:00

The February issue of K-Zone is out now, with a Bakemono High Valentines Special featuring Chuck and Salem, and "Anti-Valentine Cards" designed by me, to give to your (not-) loved ones. Go check it out, and send letters of love and adoration to K-Zone Magazine afterwards!

Also, for those of you who missed it on TV, News on QTV recently aired a short segment promoting J. Torres and our upcoming collaboration, Lola: A Ghost Story.

I Breathe Comics: Thursdays with Miko 3

2009-01-28T17:00:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday again, which means it's time for Miko!

Let me know what you think!

The Elbert Or Project

2009-01-25T17:27:00.000-08:00

On the Sunday Inquirer Magazine yesterday, Ruel de Vera wrote about my latest projects, including Without Further Adieu and the upcoming Lola: A Ghost Story from Oni Press.

What the article didn't include was that I'm also hoping to get one long-delayed anthology published this year (as soon as I wrangle the rights back from the publisher), co-write a graphic novel, and write one more. I'm crossing my fingers too that I get more fiction work published. That ought to be a nice feather in my cap.

I Breathe Comics: Thursdays with Miko Part 2

2009-01-21T16:58:00.000-08:00

Read the previous installment here and come back next Thursday for the next installment!

Book Launch: Without Further Adieu

2009-01-16T03:53:00.000-08:00

Tahanan Books invites the public to a book signing of its latest Pinoy pop culture gift book, Without Further Adieu: More Pinoy Clichés and Other Words of Wisdumb.

Cartoonist Elbert Or will be autographing copies of his book on Wednesday, January 21, 2009, from 3.30 to 5.00P.M. at the Loyola Schools Bookstore, Manuel V. Pangilinan Building at the Ateneo de Manila University.

I Breathe Comics: Thursdays with Miko

2009-01-14T17:45:00.000-08:00

Thursdays with Miko started out as a creative exercise between me and a co-teacher of mine, Roy Agustin. We had meant for this to be released as an indie thing, but I decided to serialize this here instead. Here's part one!

Let me know what you think! Part two'll be coming your way next Thursday.

Consider Yourself Invited!

2009-01-12T05:29:00.000-08:00

Without Further Adieu: More Pinoy Cliches and Other Words of Wisdumb will be launched on January 21, 2009, at the Loyola Bookstore in Ateneo de Manila University, 3:30 - 5pm.

Art in Site

2009-01-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

Art in Site Magazine initiated their Covers Project last year, with the goal of collecting 3000 artworks from Filipinos all over the world. The goal is that each copy of their maiden issue will feature a unique cover, using one of the 3000 pieces of art. I found the idea to be a wonderful one, a great attempt at capturing the current landscape of Filipino art, and so did my part and submitted two pieces for consideration.

On January 17, 2009, 7pm, at the Ayala Museum, Art in Site will be launching The Covers Project Exhibition, featuring contemporary art pieces from Filipinos all over the world, including Manila, Tokyo, Dubai, New York, London, and more.

Eloping to Africa

2009-01-06T22:38:00.000-08:00

"Two German children - aged five and six - have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say."

I showed this article from the BBC to my niece, who then asked me what "eloping" means.

"It means getting married without your parents knowing it."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because their parents wouldn't let them," I said.

"Why?"

"Because they're too young. They can't take care of themselves."

"Can't they take care of each other?"

So anyway, I read through the rest of the article with her, and by the end of it, I said, "don't get married too early okay?"

"They walked one kilometer?" was her response.

"Yes."

"Is that far?"

I tried to imagine one kilometer. I have no sense of numerical distance. "Sort of, yes. I think."

"The girl should have asked the boy to carry her."

Is There a Doctor in the House?

2009-01-06T17:40:00.000-08:00

I haven't been able to do much drawing work lately. My right arm, for some reason, has been aching for weeks now. It hurts in the upper arm area, along the deltoids and brachialis, especially when I raise my arms. Not so much when I raise it like this:

Although when I turn my lower arm to the side, it hurts like hell!

It's been like this for at least two weeks now, and I'm wondering what I can do about it. I'm doctor-averse, terribly allergic to doctors and their exorbitant consultation fees (I don't even know what kind of doctor to look for!) although if I might have to, soon, if only to get rid of the pain, never mind the work.

Suggestions?

Vandalizing Comics

2009-01-03T22:24:00.000-08:00

Started 2009 with a book signing at Comic Odyssey Galleria last January 3 with J Torres, my writer for the upcoming Lola: A Graphic Novel from Oni Press. Quite a number of people showed up to have us vandalize comic books with our signatures. We gave out free comic books and Wonder Woman pins, as well as limited-edition postcards. I sold copies of my new book, Without Further Adieu, and previewed pages from Lola as well.

One neat-o surprise was that there was a news crew from GMA/QTV covering the event. They took footage of the signing, and interviewed some of the crowd members. J and I were also interviewed, about comics in general, and our upcoming graphic novel in particular. As I answered the questions being asked of me -- how did I start drawing? (I picked up a pen) how did I meet J? (thank you, internet) what advice did I have for aspiring creators? (work, children! work!) -- two thoughts kept nagging at me:

1. A news crew in a comic book signing. Must be what they mean by "slow news day."

2. A news crew in a comic book signing and nobody told me? Thank goodness I thought of combing my hair before leaving the house this morning!

After the signing we all went up to Chef d'Angelo's to grab a bite, during which we were able to chat a bit more. Finally, after almost three years of e-mail exchanges, I got to meet J in person! I also got to hang out a bit with friends who I have not seen in a while. Or imaginary friends like Mark Torres, an artist who I've also been working with for a while now on a couple of projects, and who I also only got to meet in person for the first time during the signing. ("No relation to J Torres," he says. "I think.") Met new people too, like Ivan Brun, who is a comic book artist who's come all the way from France.

left side of the tables, front to back: Reg Ting, Az, Mark, Jonas, Charles, Marcelle, Ponci
on the other side of the table, front to back: Punky, Mark "Not J" Torres, J, me, Ivan, Heubert, and Arvin

All in all, not a bad way to start the new year; after a number of false starts and unexpected hurdles, I'm glad that I'm finally able to get a good chunk of Lola done, enough that I'm confident and optimistic that we can get this all done and ready in time for the convention season in the US. Mark your calendars!

In the meantime, buy copies of my new book, Without Further Adieu, to help tide you over! Go, now!

Time to Shine in 2009!

2009-01-02T00:30:00.000-08:00

So this is 2009! Those dystopian futures I grew up preparing for still hasn't happened yet. No Big Brother (except for that horrible goldfish bowl of a television show), no Transcontinental Road Race, and no HAL. No sexy uniform leotards, no numbers for names, and certainly no jetpacks I can strap on my back. Manhattan didn't turn into a maximum security prison back in 1997 (Snake Plissken...is make-believe?!), although to be fair, the possibility of us eating each other in 13 years, hiring Deep Sleep Operatives to pursue anyone over 30 (21, if you believe the book) in 107 years, and ultimately living in a Brave New World 531 years from now, is all still up in the air.

I had wanted to spiffy up the site a bit, greet the new year with a bit of a makeover you know? I had templates designed on Photoshop, and I had enthusiasm and excitement on my side, but I just couldn't wrap my head around CSS. In the end, time is my enemy, and I had to choose whether to insist on learning web cosmetics, or just finish work that I need to do to pay the rent and feed my belly.

Which reminds me: drop by the book signing tomorrow afternoon, okay? It's me and J. Torres, at Comic Odyssey in Galleria. We're giving out freebies, including very limited edition postcards promoting our upcoming collaboration, Lola: A Graphic Novel.

Here's a sneak peek!

Comic Odyssey Book Signing Go!

2008-12-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

Happy new year! Come join us at Comic Odyssey in Robinsons Galleria this January 3 for a book signing with J. Torres and yours truly, from 2-4pm.

J. Torres is a writer of various comics titles, whose works include Teen Titans Go! and Legion of Superheroes in the 31st Century for DC Comics. He also is the creator of Alison Dare and Sidekicks from Oni Press, as well as the writer of the upcoming Lola: A Graphic Novel, which I'm illustrating.

I'll be previewing pages of the upcoming book during the event, and will also be debuting copies of Without Further Adieu and More Pinoy Words of Wisdumb. That one's my follow-up to last year's The More The Manyer, which I'm told is already on its third printing, so yay!

As if that weren't enough incentive for you, the first 100 attendees will receive a free DC comic book, and other freebies! See you there!

What, Did You Think I've Been Hibernating All This Time?

2008-10-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

I did a little jig when I finish two books, both launching next month, just in time for my birthday. The first book is a follow-up to The More The Manyer, already well into its second printing. I've told colleagues and friends that it was only last year that I feel I was becoming the artist that I've always imagined myself to be, with the illustrations in The More The Manyer a representative of the level of craft I've been working towards since I started taking this whole art thing seriously. So it only makes sense that my art take another step forward with Without Further Adieu: More Pinoy Cliches and Other Words of Wisdumb, which for me shows much improvement over last year's book. Even my sense of self-deprecation admits as much. Here's the cover to the book (to be published by Tahanan Books):

The second book is San Miguel Pure Foods Kids' Kitchen Camp: Cookbook Specially Made for Kids, which I designed and illustrated. To be published by Anvil, with a launch in late November (hopefully, with lots of yummy yummy food!) Here's a look at the cover, so you know what to look for when you go and buy my books:

In other news: I'm about to defend my thesis proposal, the final step in getting that MA in Education that I've been working towards the past two years; I'm also about halfway done with the graphic novel I've long promised to finish for Oni Press; and I'm preparing for a couple of web-related projects that will hopefully help me re-establish a presence online (for all three of you who've missed me).

Not to mention teaching for another sem (one poetry class, and one comics production class, yay!), running the studio, and setting up a new business for next year. I am happy, busy, buzzing bee.

But! But! But! I'm making time to attend the two book launches! So should you! All of you! Heck, if you buy my books, I'll even vandalize them for you! It's the least I can do in gratitude for your love and support.

My Niece's Logic is Unbeatable

2008-09-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, my niece Cheska asks me, "Am I the only girl in your life?"

And of course, wanting to make her feel special and important, my answer was, "Of course! You're my one and only!"

"Only one?"

"Yes!"

She then patted my head -- patted my head! -- and said, "That's just sad! You should go find more friends."

Trees Are Like People Too

2008-09-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

Cheska and I are on the way home from school, walking past the mini-forest garden park whatchamacallit in Miriam College, when she points to the trees and tells me, "Aku, trees are like people too, you know."

"Is that true?"

"It's true! Trees need food and water and love. Just like people."

"What happens if they don't get them?"

"They die." And she goes on to tell me how trees find food from the sunlight, and how they find water from the soil, and...

"What about love, Cheska?" I interrupt. "Where do you find it?"

"You're silly, Aku! You don't find love! You make it by taking care of people!"

"And trees?" I ask.

"And trees!"

Sometimes Things Slip Away

2008-09-03T18:08:00.000-07:00

It's already the 4th of September, and the Manila International Book Fair is 8 days from now, and I'm still not done with the three books I was supposed to launch in time for the event. Which means I have nothing to show for next week.

That said, short work updates:

1. Without Further Adieu, the sequel to last year's The More The Manyer is missing a cover, and there's the matter of adding tones to the line art, but the bulk of the work is actually done. I've yet to discuss plans with my publisher, but I'm hoping to convince them to launch the book on November the 14th. It's like asking them to organize and pay for my birthday party, haha.

2. The other book which was originally slated for the book fair, a cookbook for kids, has also been pushed back. There's still some layout work and some revisions that need to be done, but I have some of my proteges helping me out on that one, so my work is more supervisory at this point than anything else. Also aiming for a November launch.

3. Love and Heartbreak, the romance anthology that was supposed to have come out...oh, last February is finally, finally done! There are a couple of snags though -- we still haven't decided on what the cover will look like, and there is some discussion as to whether or not we should forgo the two-color interior work and just print everything in black and white instead, but hopefully we can convince the publisher to just print the book in black and red as originally planned, and finally get it released before the year ends.

4. The other much-delayed project -- illustration work for a graphic novel for one of my favoritest publishers in the world -- is finally coming together. The full script is finally with me, and I've already drawn about a quarter of the book, so I'm looking at about two more months of hard work. If all goes well -- and they should, because this has been on my plate for two years now -- then I'll be done by November, in time for my birthday, and treating myself to a couple of book launches. What better gift to get myself? This way, I'll have cleared the plate of all ongoing pending projects, and greet the new year tabula rasa, initiate all-new projects, and move on with my life.

In the meantime, the rest of the week will be spent on finishing my thesis proposal. Almost done, almost done! I'm this close -- this close! -- to defending it and reaching the next phase of my thesis. As with other projects this year, I'm a little bit behind schedule on this...but, a little late is better than late late or never ever, right?

Right?

1000 Paper Cranes

2008-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

After lunch today, I brought my niece to the office, where my co-teacher Miggy gave Cheska an origami crane. Miggy told her about the legend, that if you fold 1000 paper cranes, you can be granted a wish by the gods. "They form one giant crane, which will carry the wish to you."

"How big is the giant crane?"

"Really big," Miggy replied. "Bigger than you!"

Cheska still can't wrap her head around the number 1000. It's too big for her. She tried counting it as we walked home, but only got to about a hundred. She then turned to me and asked, “Why do you need a super giant crane to carry your wish?”

“Because wishes are big and heavy too," I said, "and one tiny paper crane isn't strong enough to carry it.”

“Can I just wish for something small and tiny so one paper crane can carry it?”

“What do you want to wish for?” I ask her.

“I wish…I wish I never have to be sad anymore," she said.

Sigh. I wish I never have to be sad anymore too.

The Weight Of The Niece On My Shoulders

2008-08-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, I was walking Cheska to school and telling her to avoid the puddles. She told me I should just carry her all the way to school. "I don't like," I said, "You're big na!"

My niece said, "But there's so many puddles!"

So I said, "But you're too heavy!"

She thought for a moment, rubbing her chin with an intent to look contemplative but ended up looking like she was rubbing spaghetti sauce off her chin. Then she shrugged and said, "Okay. But if I get wet from puddles and get sick, it's your fault okay?" She walked on ahead of me, stopping after a few paces, and then turned around and looked at me expectantly.

So guess who ended up carrying Cheska on his back?

Unknow-it-all

2008-08-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

While watching Wall-E with my niece, I asked her, "Why do you think Earth became that way, so full of trash? How do you think it happened, Cheska?"

Cheska doesn't even turn away from the screen. She just lifts a finger to her lips, trying to shush me. "I don't know," she tells me, very impatiently. "I'm just a kid. I don't know everything."

"So shhhh!" she continues. "I'm trying to watch."

My voice falls to a whisper. "But Cheska, no one's talking yet." The first forty minutes of the movie, I know, is largely silent.

"They might!" she snapped. "And then I won't hear it and it'll be all your fault!"

eep.

Of Course You Know, This Means War!

2008-07-28T15:16:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, my mother decided to pull out Cheska's wobbly front tooth. With string. (I was not there to stop it; she had gone home for the weekend, while I stayed in the apartment to get some work done.)

"Did it hurt?" I asked my niece this morning, as I was getting her ready for school.

"Yes, but only for a little while," she replied. She promised there was no blood, which is great. I don't think my hemophobia can take it. (Blood should stay where they belong: inside the body.)

"It hurt you? Why would she do that? Why would you let her do that? Now you've lost your teeth na!"

"But aku-u-u! We all lose our teeth when we're old!"

My Niece, Kawaii

2008-07-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

Look! My niece, during last week's United Nations/ Reading Week thing at her school, where they were asked to dress up as representatives of various countries. She was representative of Japan!

Isn't she just the cutest?

Her milk teeth are starting to go, one by one; one of her rabbit teeth is next. She's developed a habit of rocking it back and forth with her tongue, which is just strange to watch. And slightly unnerving. I keep on wanting to stop her, lest she hurt herself. But she just goes on and does it anyway, gleefully playing with her tooth, her enjoyment compounded by seeing her uncle squirm at the sight of it.

I Wonder If It's On E-Bay, Two

2008-07-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

When my niece told me to buy a robot in response to my telling her that I don't have a girlfriend, I asked her why she would say such a thing. "Why should I buy a robot?" I ask.

"So that you have someone to help you wash dishes and clean the floors, of course," she says.

I don't know why sometimes she talks like I'm the one who's five years old.

"Isn't that what girlfriends are for?"

I Wonder If It's On E-Bay

2008-07-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

Over dinner, out of the blue, my niece Cheska asks me if I had a girlfriend. I say no (although please, God, let that change soon), and so she says, "You know what? You know what?"

"No, what?" I say.

"You should get a robot!"

Santa Claus Never Comes To Town

2008-07-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

In the mornings as I walk my niece to school, I tell her stories. I like stories. So does Cheska. Once, I told her the story of the Three (Cute) Little Pigs, and how they built their houses, and how the Big Bad (Very, Very Ugly) Wolf came to blow them down, and how he eventually met his sad, horrible, but completely justified end by falling into the chimney and burning his butt in the fireplace and providing the poor impoverished pigs free fresh meat for dinner. "Yum, wolf meat!"

Cheska, after hearing the story, turned to me and asked, "Is that why Santa Claus never comes to our house?"

My brain tried to process this question, attempting to connect the story of the three pigs with Santa Claus. "Because Santa doesn't want to get burned in the fireplace like the big bad wolf?"

She looked at me like I'm the five-year old. "Because we don't have chimneys!" she said, "You should buy a house that has a chimney so that Santa will come give us gifts on Christmas."

And all these years, I'd just assumed the tropics were too hot for Santa's outfit. Who knew it was really only because we didn't have chimneys!

Pre-Departure

2008-06-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

Arrived in Singapore two days ago, with an agenda of meeting with some clients, introducing myself to potential new ones, attending a small artists conference, and indulging my inner fanboy at the Singapore Toy and Comic Convention. It's my last night here now, and I actually wish I could stay longer, if only to avoid the responsibilities that await my return.

But all I'll be doing is delaying the inevitable, and that just might make things worse. There are classes to teach -- this year's batch of students seems smart, unresponsive though some of them may be; the two big book projects that still remain unfinished, one more that needs to be written, some comics projects that are awaiting scripts, and a thesis that needs to be finished in a year (or else!) My mind screams at me, escape, escape, escape and start over. But I love my work too much. And there are people I miss too much, too; they alone provide more reasons for me to return than to stay.

I am both wary and excited about returning home tomorrow. Tonight, though...tonight I'll rest. My aching joints and tired feet need sleep, and so do I.

Everything else can wait until tomorrow.

Weathering Weather Woes

2008-06-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning I woke up to the sounds of howling winds and pounding rains, only to discover that the condo was flooded...again. Serves me right for going to bed with the windows wide open. To make matters worse, there was no electricity, which meant I couldn't cook my breakfast and had to subsist on cold bread (I keep bread in the refrigerator to make them last longer; I usually toast them anyway) and strawberry jam.

The new wireless landline proved to be a joke; no signals meant I couldn't get in touch with anyone. My mobile phone ran out of credits so I couldn't text or call anyone for help, and in the meantime, all my neighbors made a beeline to their parked cars in the basement and headed out to the nearest air-conditioned mall. So this is isolation. A pleasure to meet you.

Two hours and a massive clean-up later, I was bored, bored, bored, and was trying to decide on what to have for lunch. No electricity meant I couldn't cook anything, all the delivery lines were busy, and most of the restaurants along Katipunan were closed. I had wanted to go to the mall, but I waited twenty minutes for a taxi and the only thing I got was wet. Ultimately, I had no choice but to go to KFC -- I haven't stepped inside a KFC for more than a year now -- and have their mushroom soup and some chicken for lunch. Damn transfats clogging up my arteries now.

And I just knew -- I just knew! -- that they would call of classes today, and that the rains and winds would stop as soon as they do. It's the least the Fates could do for making me go through this horrible inconvenience.

And wouldn't you know it? I was right!

Earthworms

2008-06-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the rain, but there sure were a lot of earthworms popping out from under the ground this morning as I was walking Cheska to school. She kept on yelling and pulling my arm, refusing to walk a step further because of those creepy, scary worms. "They might bite me! Carry me! Carry! Carry!"

"But you're too big to carry now, Cheska," I tried to explain. "And anyway, those earthworms can't bite you. They don't even have mouths!"

My niece eyes me suspiciously. "They don't?"

"No. They don't even have eyes!"

At this, my niece starts panicking again. "No eyes or mouth?! But that makes them creepier! Carry! Carry!"

Now Fortified with More Cheska!

2008-06-16T00:57:00.000-07:00

Today I helped my niece settle into the new apartment. She'll be living with me now, to save everyone the hassle of traveling an hour and a half from my parents' place to her school. Not only would traveling require much more time and effort from everyone, but the gas prices are just so unbelievably expensive; on the other hand, my apartment is just across the street. It's too early to say how this will affect my schedule, given that I'm teaching again, on top of helping out the new company and trying to finish my thesis, but I certainly don't mind the company. One could do worse than to live with a precocious five-year old who can provide endless hours of entertainment and unexpected wisdom. I'm, quite frankly, very excited.

Weather-Weather Lang

2008-06-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, after lunch, I went to a client meeting. It was a fairly productive meeting that firmly established the work stresses and pressures to come, which was then deftly assuaged (however temporarily) by the wonderful, wonderful food that they prepared for me.

Four hours later, I took a one-hour cab ride from Libis to Katipunan, when it would otherwise have taken less than fifteen minutes. The traffic was just that horrible. And initially I assumed it was because of the typical first-school-day traffic jam, only to find that the streets of Katipunan were flooded. I was indoors most of the afternoon, and so wasn't aware of how bad the rain was.

Pretty bad, as it turns out. The ceiling in Dela Costa Hall collapsed, making the Theology and Filipino Departments on the third floor seem like a set piece from the TItanic movie. The waters flowed all the way down to the second floor, though thankfully the English department (my books! my papers!) at the far end of the hall on the ground floor was mostly spared. The offices on the third floor have to be relocated elsewhere though.

I found Migoy and other co-teachers from the department huddled together in the darkness of the faculty lounge. All lights out as a safety precaution, with styrofoam-and-plastic remains of McDonalds food items consumed by colleagues as a coping mechanism. How could I have missed the wrath of God yesterday? All that drama happening in my neck of the woods, and it just had to happen on the one day I was out.

And yet I'm not spared from having to deal with the fallout: the first step I took as I opened the door to my condo unit made a tiny splashing sound, and I looked down to discover that the entire condo floor is wetter than a beaver. Where did the water come from?! The windows were closed, the ceiling was still intact, and the toilet wasn't overflowing!

The rest of the evening was spent preparing oatmeal for dinner, and cleaning up the condo. Do you know that rain water isn't at all clean anymore? Afterwards, I cleaned up the condo. All those times I stood out in the rain, arms stretched, staring up, eyes closed, mouth wide open, tongue sticking out, and...bleargh. And then...I cleaned up the condo. Damn you, Salazaaar!

Another Smarter Than The Average Bear Story

2008-06-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

Because I was chatting online with Lorra, about something-or-other which I forget about, but made me think anyway, I asked my niece, "Cheska, am I cute?"

She pouts, looks at me, squints, and says, "You try to be."

Today the Backstroke, Tomorrow the World!

2008-05-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I really remember why I never learned how to swim. I tend to come up with excessively complicated tall tales about myself whenever I'm asked. The most common one is the one where as a kid I was thrown off the edge of the swimming pool and developed a phobia for it, but I don't know if it's a real memory or something that became real just because my mom kept repeating the anecdote until I started believing in its veracity as well. Regardless, I did develop a very real phobia for being submerged in water, and many a night did I wake up, my heart going thump-thump-thump, from a nightmare of drowning in the middle of the sea.

A couple of weeks ago, while packing my things, moving out of the old apartment, I stumbled upon my annually-updated list of character defects and embarrassing phobias and decided I wanted to strike one out of that list. So I took the plunge (pun, sorry) and signed up for swimming lessons in Ateneo. Five days later, and look:

The whole endeavor was not, of course, without its share of complications: my learning pace was much, much slower than it probably should have been, largely because the entirety of my first day was spent just trying not to panic and cry for my mother whenever I'd go underwater.

Which I'm sure filled all the other toddlers there filled with immeasurable glee.

I think the youngest person learning to swim there was 12. I tried to pass myself off as 15, but I don't think it worked.

By day two, I maybe have told myself I was quitting about twelve times, or an average of once every twenty minutes.

By day three I could do float like driftwood, and swim freestyle, though my swim instructor kept insisting that I should relax. "Relax" is maybe the most-repeated instruction he gave me through the five days of swimming lessons, and I'm not sure if my muscles tensing up is because of the fear of the water, or because I don't know how to relax, period.

Meanwhile, the kids are already swimming laps across the pool, they might as well have grown gills. Katie, who's four years old, is swimming so well, she didn't only grow gills, she became a full-fledged mermaid.

By day four, I'm struggling with catching my breath, but I end up drinking pool water and kiddie pee instead. I think some of the pee I drank was mine, even, from when I was being whiny and panicky and all boo-hoo-hoo the first day.

By day five, I've only learned freestyle and a little bit of the backstroke, but that's okay. Just getting myself into a swimming pool in the first place was a huge step for me. Just being in that pool, and learning to be familiar with the feeling of fear -- I wonder if that'll ever go away -- and more importantly, just learning to go on, jump in, kick, stroke, breathe, swim, despite the fear. Whoever said there's nothing to fear, is just telling a big, fat lie. For me, there was everything to fear. But ultimately, however late the lesson was learned, the lesson was learned anyway: why let fear stop you?

Ten Things

2008-05-12T04:45:00.000-07:00

1. Speed Racer is a live-action cartoon in all the best and worst ways. I loved parts of it, I hated parts of it. It could have been much shorter, ending it with the cross-continent race instead of the anti-climactic grand prix. I loved all those little absurd, hyper-real moments like the speed lines during action scenes, the strains of the original Speed Racer theme used in the new score, and them popping cold milk instead of champagne at the end of the Grand Prix. I had to walk out of the iMax theater first time I watched it though; twenty minutes in, I was afraid I was gonna get seizures if I watched any more of the kaleidoscope visuals in 3D.

2. It's nice to finally get that comprehensive exam behind me; it wasn't as easy as I hoped it would be, but at least it wasn't as difficult as I expected it to be. Now I can focus on work. There's a lot of it that I've had to ignore the past two weeks that I now have to catch up on, so yum yum.

3. I've been so busy with work (and enjoying it so much) that I can't afford (and am afraid) to set aside the time and effort to pursue a serious relationship. Talking to similarly-perpetually-busy Jonas about our mutual lack of love lives encouraged me, though. Apparently, I am not alone in the way I choose to deal with the occasional bouts of loneliness. If I am to be a deviant of society, at least I won't be the only one.

4. Ginseng really does help with stress management, it turns out. I've been chewing on the occasional ginseng root, one small slice every day or two, and I've noticed a heightened alertness, among other small improvements in the way my body runs. And it's been keeping me from biting my nails too, so I might keep the habit.

My name is Elbert, and I've been bite-nail free for three days now. Hello Elbert.

5. I really should stop drinking coffee though. It's embarrassing.

6. I will admit it: what my mentor, ex-boss, and good friend Jamie always knew, it took a movie adaptation for me to see. But Iron Man is cool. I want an Iron Man armor now, too.

7. I'm about 80% done moving stuff out. Fifteen minutes I sat on the floor this morning, staring at the wall, realizing I actually will miss my apartment. You change the places you've been, but places change you too.

8. More changes to the status quo: I've been brought in as a partner, for a creative content development studio that specializes in print solutions. New challenges to face, more lessons to learn. Very exciting.

9. I have web plans. But I need web help.

10. Music I have been greatly enjoying lately: Panic at the Disco's Welcome to the Sound of Pretty Odd, which sounds exactly like the album title suggests; the Dan in Real Life soundtrack, with wonderfully light and whimsical music by Sondre Lerche; We Are The Pipettes, with sensationally ostentatious music that sounds like the 50's but with very modern 21st-century lyrics; and the new Jason Mraz album We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things, which features more of the same variegated lyrical wordplay the appeal of which varies according to your mileage. And a lot of other singles and songs taken from all sorts of sources. But these are the most played ones.

I Missed Free Comic Book Day...

2008-05-06T03:12:00.000-07:00

...But in the big scheme of things, that's maybe galaxies away from the worst thing to happen to me. I wish I had copies of the comics that were being given out, but I did have my comprehensive exams to worry about on that day, the penultimate requirement to my getting my Master's degree in Education. Hopefully, I pass the exams (part two of which happens this Saturday the 10th), so I can start on my thesis already. Which I'm aiming to finish by next March, so I can finallyw graduate and demand from everyone that they call me "Master." Why else did you think I worked so hard for the MA?

The past few days, however, I've been preoccupied by a family emergency that maybe got us all more worried than we probably should have -- then again, the best (and worst) thing about the family is that we worry about each other way more than we probably should. So, no studying (nor work) was done since Saturday. Also: hospitals? Very creepy. Everytime someone comes into the room where they kept mom for observation, I keep getting tingly sensations at the back of my neck, and I half-expect there to be a mumu at the door. All's well now, though, so I'm hoping to catch up on things over the next few days.

The priority, of course, is to study for Saturday's exam. Afterwards though, there's the two books I've been fast-tracking (tentatively titled Project: Oni and Project: Sequel), another to finally put to bed (Love and Heartbreak), and two K-Zone stories to write and illustrate. I was also recently brought in as a partner to a fledgling company, and I'm hoping to map out some plans and suggestions about what can be done to help it grow. It's a strange new role -- similar to previous consultancy gigs, though this time I have a real stake in it -- but one that I'm looking forward to devoting time and effort to.

Then, come end of the month, there's all the hassles of moving out to worry about. I'm saying goodbye to the apartment I've been staying in these past two years, deciding that the money I've been putting into an apartment that won't ever be mine can be put to better use elsewhere. Among other reasons...and there were a lot of them. There were a whole lot of reasons for staying too, and the decision to move out was preceded by a month-long, exhaustive (and exhausting) argument with myself.

I'm using the move as an excuse to dispose of a lot of my comics and books, too, giving them out to friends, students, and strangers who could probably take better care of them than I would, since I really don't have the space for them anymore. So the fact that I missed out on Free Comic Book Day is probably a good thing too; no new comics that I don't really have the space for anyway (though I still wish someone would at least let me read through them free comics things). I'm aiming to let go of the clutter in my life, so I can have a clearer view of the future.

I just need to survive the week, first, is all.

Indy in Town at Bangkok

2008-04-25T06:13:00.000-07:00

At Siam Square outside Centralworld in Bangkok, I caught the Indy in Town bazaar, where independent artists, photographers, and fashion designers sold a wide variety of items, from homemade jewelry to customized accessories to lomo postcards. There were artists who sold customized anything - from canvas bags that they've painted one-of-a-kind designs on, to cellphone casings and coins pouches that they'll draw on, by request. The creativity on display amazed me.

Eventually, I ended up hanging around one artist who was selling small pouches made from canvas with customized art on it (largely because she was one of the few people there whose English I can actually understand). For a while, I also helped her sell her wares, hawking them at tourists passing by, and even drawing on a few of the pouches myself. Despite the horrible horrible hot humid sticky weather, and my innate fear of huge crowds, it was a fun experience. Certainly one of the highlights of my trip to Bangkok.

I am told it happens every Friday of the summer from 4pm til 10pm, with concerts and programs and contests accompanying the bazaar at night. A most wonderful opportunity that perhaps should be replicated here (if it hasn't been already).

Because Two Eyes Are Better Than None

2008-04-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

My niece Cheska is smarter than the average bear. Dapat lang, since I don't think the average bear is all that smart.

Anyway, this one time, she's on the couch playing her Nintendo DS (current addiction: Starfox) when my younger sister Elsie passes by and notices that the TV is on. Cartooooon Network!

Now, having watched too many Captain Planet episodes when she was younger, Elsie is very conscious about the need to save up on energy and resources. She asks my niece, in a very stern voice, "Cheska! Are you going to play DS or watch TV!"

My niece replies, "Both!"

"Is that possible? Can you do two things at the same time?"

Without taking her eyes off the Nintendo, my niece tells her, "I have two eyes, remember?"

Later, over the phone, my sister tells me about the incident, and then pases the phone to Cheska. "Is it true you can watch TV while playing the Nintendo? Can you do that?" I ask her.

She says, very slowly, as if speaking to a stupid 24-year-old child, "Yes, of course. I have two eyes, A-ku," she says. "I thought you were smart?"

Apparently not.

The Teaching Year's End

2008-04-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

My teaching year's come to an end, finally, officially. I've submitted my students' final grades, had the appropriate clearance and quitclaim forms signed, and claimed my final paycheck; all that's left to be done is to clear out my desk. That can wait until I get back from Thailand.

I taught three Communication in English classes, two Poetry classes, and two Comics Production electives this year. I wonder how effective I was at those. I wonder what they really learned. If they really learned.

I learned a few things too. Some are obvious lessons that were hammered home by firsthand experience: be on time and never be absent, if you can help it; trust your students to know right from wrong, but enforce rules just in case they don't; make the lessons interesting, and the students will be interested; don't bluff your way through something you don't know; admit that you don't know everything and you will be forgiven; regardless of what you look like or how well you teach, they will find something to make fun of about you; if you don't care for your students, you're in the wrong profession; if you're teaching for the money, you're in the wrong profession. The biggest lesson I learned, though, was that any approach that gets the students motivated, that gets them to learn, is the right approach. Regardless of how badly they think of you as a result. The mark of the real teacher, I think, is when you stop caring whether the students like you or not. Nevertheless, just as a writer is nothing without an audience, so too is a teacher without students.

---

So, I thought I'd share one of the letters for my students at the end of the school year, after their final presentations:

Who would have known that time can move this fast? The plays have all been staged, we performed our roles to a T, and all that is left now is the clean up, the picking up of pieces.

So many pieces. I walked into our classroom this morning, forgetting for a moment that not only have we stopped meeting at 7:30, but that it was a Tuesday and we weren't even supposed to meet in the first place. The rituals are hard to let go. Forgetting, as Neruda once wrote, is so long.

So many pieces yet to be picked up. I'm sure I'll miss a thing or two. But that's okay too. You may leave things behind, but nothing is ever truly lost.

...

It is moments like these when I truly feel my inadequacies as a writer. I try and find the words to express my gratitude and affection for each one of you, but there doesn't seem to be any coming to mind. I can tell you this much: scared witless as I am of speaking to an audience, I tend to sit in front or lean on something, lest people discover that I tremble in fear where I stand. I still have not gotten over that fear, and continue to fight the urge to vomit before class, and continue to fret afterwards that I have made an utter fool of myself. It's like this every other day. And yet, as the year ends, I find myself wishing that the school year wouldn't end just yet, not just yet, nausea and fear and anxiety be damned. That's how much I looked forward to classes with you, that's how much your company meant. Means.

Beyond this, there are no more words, and I suppose that's okay. Sometimes what needs to be said the most need not be said out loud at all.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this school year. Take a bow, everyone, you've all been great. I couldn't be more proud.

The Smashing Debut of Stephanie Smee!

2008-03-28T00:50:00.000-07:00

This month's K-Zone Magazine is an especially interesting one, as it is their April Fools issue filled with gags and pranks inside. More importantly (at least for me), it features a brand-spankin'-new Bakemono High story, as well as the debut of my new comics series for kids: The Many Adventures of Stephanie Smee.

Stephanie Smee is a girl who inherited a treasure map from her grandfather, after which she decides to quit boarding school and become an adventurer of the high seas. She's aided by Paulie, a cabin boy cursed by a sea hag to remain a talking parrot until he receives true love's first kiss. And what's an adventure story without villains? Hot on their tails is the nefarious Captain Crow, his eyepatch-wearing pet dog Pom Pom, and an octopus for a first mate, called Sea Legs.

First appearing as a choose-your-own-adventure comics poster in last November's K-Zone issue, The Many Adventures of Stephanie Smee is now a full-fledged comic series in the magazine, with interactive fun-ness in each installment and cutesy-cutesy artwork by Alex Sandoval. Go check out this month's KZone Magazine and fall in love with Stephanie Smee now!

Those Little Moments of Peevery

2008-03-24T16:31:00.000-07:00

I love you people, but if I had to read another of your blogs with white text against a black background, I will get my gerbil to nibble your scrotums. Even people with 20/20 vision will be hard-pressed to find any reason to read through your entries and risk nausea, dizziness, and migraines. Oh, and please use your vowels, thank you very much.

Also: why won't my scanner work? I think it's led too sedentary a lifestyle that now I just can't get it to work. I need to send pages to client, hel-lo!

So I was jogging early this morning when I ran across cute girl who smiled at me. I'm sure I didn't know her, but I smiled back anyway, and wished wished wished hoped hoped hoped that my brain wouldn't wait until I've finished jogging, had my breakfast, and gone to work before thinking of something to say to her. But oh crap-on-a-stick, my brain did just that. Mental note: the brain is a traitor to the loins, and words its accomplice. I am the grrr.

Why are sugar-free foods more expensive? Didn't you just take away one ingredient from the list? Shouldn't you be cheaper? One less ingredient! Why don't you make sense?

Man, it's hot. I can water plants with the sweat dripping off my armpits! I don't like this sticky-hot humid summer weather. Hotness I can take; I can do without the humid. But the world, unsurprisingly, has decided to ignore my pleas. How can I get any work done with weather like this?

The romance anthology is late! Late! Late! Past experience working with artists has given me the foresight to solicit more stories than I needed to fill a book, but fat lot of good that did to me when almost all of them were flakier than the cereal I eat for breakfast! I still only have half a book! And the target release date of February has already come and gone! Late! Late! Late!

Peevery! I am so peeved today, I'm inventing new words, that's how peeved I am, yessir.

Comics Challengers

2008-03-22T14:50:00.000-07:00

One of the things I missed out on while staying here at my parents' for the Holy Week was the 24-Hour Comics Challenge at McDonalds' Katipunan last Thursday. It's slightly embarrassing, considering I was the one who organized the whole thing in the first place, but I'm so proud of the super troopers who pushed through with it despite my absence.

The past few months, you see, I've been conducting free comics creation workshops every Thursday afternoon to a group of college students and and recent graduates. Attendees come and go, though the staples include Harvey, who runs a comics-centric student org called CAPES; Arvin, a former student of mine who's slowly growing into a very capable writer; and Mary, one of the most hard-working and determined artists I've met in a long time. Since January, we've been joined by Ponci, a comics writer who I've been trying to wean off superheroes; and Carlos and Darin, who, along with their wicked sense of humor, are sitting in all the way from Berkeley.

I was surprised, actually, when I found out that they were pushing through with the event despite my absence. More than that, though, I'm delighted that my proteges have taken the initiative to do so. It's not easy, after all: the challenge is to write and draw a 24-page comic in the span of 24 hours. Goodbye sleep and sanity!

Adding to the challenge is the venue: McDonalds Katipunan, which was the only place we knew of that would be open for the holidays (Ronald McDonald is not Catholic!), let alone for 24 hours straight. A fast food place, after all, may not be most conducive to creativity, especially if said place only had an hour-long CD of music that it would play over and over and over again. (Although it would, at least, work to keep you awake.) Darin's blog has an account of what happened, and hey! They were able to pull it off! Yay, you!

Teletubbies

2008-03-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

My sister Elsie, who spent the past year teaching in an international school in Cebu, was brought home last week with a fractured leg, leaving her unable to move around as much as she'd like. And so for the Holy Week, I decided to jettison my travel plans and just go home to help my parents out however I can. Between raising my niece Cheska, and taking care of Elsie, I figured they need all the help they can get.

So here I am, at my sister's beck and call, my butt parked within shouting distance. Which means sitting by her at the living room, activity options limited to surfing the net (for only as long as the laptop batteries hold out), reading books, playing the DS (am currently addicted to Professor Layton and the Curious Village -- puzzle-solving funness!), and watching TV.

But oh, man, television! Can you believe it?

I've gotten so used to living on my own, in an apartment with neither television nor radio (how else do you think I'm able to get work done?), that the experience of watching shows on a widescreen plasma television with surround sound is just so wonderfully novel. Just yesterday, after discovering that Elsie's never seen any of The Matrix movies, I slipped the DVD into the player, and was so taken by the crystal-clear images that when I looked away from the screen afterwards everything seemed blurry and out of focus in comparison that I thought my eyes needed checking. And oh, the sounds! Every punch, kick, boom, splat reverberated across the room! Leaps and bounds and light years away from watching on a measly 13" laptop screen with your earphones on. Even the experience of watching home shopping networks is leaving me enthralled (which, you know, I've always been strangely addicted to, but six hours! I spent six hours watching those darn infomercials the other day!) I love love love television now, and I'm wondering if I can afford one of them 42" plasma screens for my apartment. How did I survive so long without this kind of entertainment?

(And, in case you were curious, no, I didn't make my sister watch any of the craptacular Matrix sequels. Best leave her with a good impression of the first movie.)

Coverage (Or, A Survey of Happy Experiences)

2008-03-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Danton Remoto, in his column which came out in Friday's Philippine Star, mentions my recent book, The More The Manyer. The book came out six months ago, and is already on its second 7000-copy print run. Read the full article, if you like.

It's just one more in a string of good vibes I've been getting this past week. There are, of course, the usual pleasant experiences, such as my niece Cheska, who made her big stage debut last Monday; the discovery of free wi-fi access in McDonalds; and watching on DVD Lars and the Real Girl and Dedication, both really clever, really sweet movies that came out last year. I discovered the music of New Buffalo, and I've been listening to the Once soundtrack a lot (despite my not having seen the movie yet). I also have discovered the wonders of dining at The Village Pantry and Kopi Tiam, both of which are such superlative experiences that deserve journal entries of their own.

One more thing that made me happy-giddy this week is receiving text messages from someone I have since stopped expecting would say or do anything of the sort. They're really just mundane messages of the "hello, how are you?" sort, certainly nothing senses-shattering or extraordinarily revelatory. But I find myself thinking about them in short sporadic moments during the week, and it makes me smile. Sometimes I allow myself to play with possibilities, that they actually mean much more than they really do, but eventually remind myself that it's best not to assume, and though I allow myself to hope, there still is work that awaits, and countless other matters that require my attention.

Last night, I watched a group of my students stage a play, part of my requirements for Introduction to Poetry and Drama class. They performed a condensed version of Hairspray, and they surprised and delighted me and an audience of classmates, co-teachers, friends, lovers, and family. While there were some difficulties with the audibility of their voices particularly when they were trying to speak over the music, for the most part, the audiences were won over by the strength of the material, the creative use of the stage, and the infectious exuberance of the cast. The group clearly gave more than a hundred percent of their efforts, rising to the occasion wonderfully and exceeding my every expectation. Definitely one of the highlights of my school year, and I couldn't be more proud.

In the coming week, I'll be looking forward to more performances from my other students, and I'm quite excited. And then, come Thursday, my proteges and I will be holing up at the McDonalds in Katipunan for a 24-hour comic challenge -- writing and drawing 24 pages in 24 straight hours. I haven't done this in a couple of years, but it'll be interesting to see what I can come up with this time around. (Anyone else who wants to give it a try, of course, is more than welcome to join.)

And while there's a bit of sadness mixed with it, I'm also looking forward to the end of the school year. Finally, I'll get to rest a bit, and focus on the freelance projects I have on my plate. It's been a strange past ten months, as I finally got to fulfill another life goal of mine, to be a teacher. (On to the next dream!) The experience has been every bit as rewarding and fulfilling as I always thought it'd be, though as with most things in life, always there is a cost, and there have been periods in time when the cost seemed far too heavy for me. The best part of the new job, of course, is the people -- the students and co-teachers who very quickly became such fixtures in my life. I'm certainly feeling a little sad that I won't get to be with my students and co-teachers on a regular basis anymore, but I live in hope that the end of the school year doesn't mean the end of the relationship we've built.

But First, Tooth Fairy, A Question

2008-03-13T04:32:00.000-07:00

My niece called me up earlier tonight to proudly announce that she has a wobbly tooth. "I'll have a permanent tooth soon, aku," she told me. From her voice, you just knew she was beaming on the other end of the line; I had to put on sunglasses just to avoid the glare. "This baby tooth is falling off."

So I said, "You know what you should do with it?" And I told her that when the tooth falls off, she ought to put it under her pillow at night, so that the tooth fairy can come in while she sleeps, and exchange the tooth for money.

"The tooth fairy gets the tooth and leaves money?"

"Uh-huh," I replied. "It's like she paid you for the tooth, so she can add it to her collection."

Silence, followed by, "how much do you think I'll get? Will I get lots of money?" When I said I wasn't sure, she paused, went "hmmm," and then asked:

"Will I have to pay for taxes?"

Spectacular Superstar Stage Debut!

2008-03-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my niece's big stage debut. She played one of the jesters in their school's culminating program "Ang Hiwaga ng Carousel."

Isn't she just the cutest? Yes, she is.

It was easy to tell her apart from the other kids who played jesters onstage; she was the tallest one, after all. She was also the only one who kept waving at me, while singing and dancing. "Hello, Aku! Hi!"

Too bad they didn't allow photos or videos to be taken inside the auditorium, though.

Her mom told me later that the kids even had to audition for roles. Since the play was in Tagalog, it put my niece at a disadvantage, since she speaks that language about as well as she does German...which is to say, she really can't speak it at all. Still, she did such a great job with her role, and I was so proud of her, that I just had to reward her with dinner at Kami Rori, so she can have her favorite Japanese dishes.

As an aside: I finally met her much-hyped boyfriend. Not much to worry about, it turns out. Bet I could take him in a fight. He's still five years old, after all. So really, he breaks my little girl's heart, I'm so gonna break that little boy's balls.

Maybe I don't even have to do it. As I see it, my niece seems to be the more dominant one, while the boyfriend pretty much does what she tells him to do. She could probably crush his underdeveloped balls herself, if she wanted to.

Break's Over

2008-03-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

Three days in, my fever broke and became cabin fever. It's hard being bedridden in an apartment with neither TV nor radio, unable to even diddle with the computer because looking at the screen too long gives you migraines. I tried calling people up to keep myself entertained, but most of them had to give up after a while, unable to make heads or tails of my drug-addled mumbled replies.

So today I decided to come in to work and spread the flu bug around. I'm giving a talk later on the social history of comics, and meeting my proteges afterwards. And then tomorrow, it's back to the classroom, teaching English and poetry and trying to see if maybe I can make it through the rest of the week without keeling over.

"I thought you were sick! Why are you here?" a colleague asks me when I arrived at the office of the Fine Arts Program.

"I'm diseased," I reply, "not deceased."

Out of Sync with the Rest of the World

2008-03-02T19:41:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, I woke up fifteen minutes too early, and everything just went downhill from there.

For the rest of the week, I found myself in a horrible state of arrhythmia, answering to questions a minute too early, or an hour too late. I ate lunch for breakfast and dinner for lunch, and didn’t feel the need to anything more than just that, until I’d wake up in the middle of the night, dress up and jog, get tired and hungry thirty minutes later only to realize that it wasn't even dawn yet and everything except 7-11 was closed. I was wide awake while everyone else slept, and was in a state of zombie-like stupor while everyone else went about their day. I responded to conversations two conversations later, when a question that was asked of me I’d answer to a different person with a different question, a half and hour later. I found myself crying for no reason at all, wondering if this is what menopause feels like, when once you’ve lived out your biological purpose you’ve no place left for the world. There were even moments when I felt like I was in a dream, like a hovering bird surveying the ground below and seeing, watching myself go about my day. Mostly though it was just me, reacting to things a little too early, a little too late, happy when I should be sad, and sad when I should be happy, and waiting, just waiting, for when I’d be allowed back into the regular ebb and flow of time and space again.

By the time it happened, it was Sunday already, and I woke up with a horrible headache which has very quickly developed into a debilitating fever. I tried getting some work done, but my headache caused me to snap at one of my clients, something which I still feel I was completely justified in doing so but nevertheless open to the possibility that it’s just the headache talking. Still, I was sent home as a result, and so here I am, leeching off the neighbor’s internet access, once more bemoaning the difficulty of being sick with no one else to take care of you because you’re living on your own. I check the door every so often, wondering if someone will surprise me by bringing something that will help make me feel better, then reminding myself that I probably look like shit and won’t want visitors anyway, and that I’ll probably make them slip in whatever they’ve brought under the door. I’m hoping that I can feel well enough tomorrow to get back to work; there’s no feeling as horrible as being sick and unproductive. I’m also hoping I hadn’t irreparably ruined my relationship with the client; but most of all, I’m thinking of my week out of sync and hoping that I hadn’t unwittingly, irreparably ruined my relationship with anyone I actually care about.

What does this illness mean, I wonder? Has being out of sync with the rest of the universe drained me of much energy that I am now unable to muster up enough of it to get up from bed and answer my phone? How does being out of sync happen in the first place? It’s certainly something to think about, though perhaps not now, when I can barely even get my eyes to focus on any one thing.

My Niece Knows No Infidelity

2008-02-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning, my niece Cheska is finally introduced to good friend (and landlady) Khristine's son Seth. Cheska is almost six. Seth is almost two. They're almost made for each other, I tell you.

But Cheska, I should tell you, has always preferred interacting with older kids and adults, this tendency only becoming more evident when she started walking and talking. So it was funny, but unsurprising, that she kept on wanting to run away from Seth, while Seth, probably thinking that they're laying a game of tag, kept on running and giggling after her.

To her credit, Cheska's learning to be more polite, and while it was still obvious she didn't know the first thing to do about her new friend Seth, she at least didn't push her away or throw a tantrum or anything. And when I asked her later why she kept on running away from Seth, she offered a diplomatic reply:

"But I already have a boyfriend, Aku!"

Ever the Nervous Speaker

2008-02-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

I've made no secret of the fact that I am not comfortable with speaking in public. I get the shakes, and when I speak, its quality and clarity always comes to within a hair's width of verbal diarrhea. You'd think I'd have grown used to it by now, having been teaching for almost a year now, with a couple of years of public speaking engagements and workshops before that. But I haven't.

Just yesterday in addition to my regular English classes, I gave a talk on how to read comics for my spiritual twin Ning's class, which was just nerve-wracking because both Ning and Ana were sitting at the back, watching me. And while I love the class for actually showing signs of paying attention, showing signs of life by way of answering my questions proved to be a task more difficult than helping Sisyphus push a boulder up an incline.

And today, I gave a report for my MA class, which is more awkward given that it feels very much like teaching to teachers. Something about that just feels so strange to me. I realize a large part of it is because I still see myself as a student a lot of the time, someone who still has a lot to learn. One of my worn-out responses (and an attempt at being humorous) to people who ask about my work as a teacher is, "I'm really just pretending to be a teacher until the administration catches on and boots me off campus."

At what point does self-deprecation become lack of self-esteem, I wonder?

What to Do with Boyfriends, According to My Niece

2008-02-11T14:38:00.000-08:00

Wanting to know what was up, I ask my niece what the dilly-o was - the lowdown, if you will - with her and her boyfriend Anton.

I can't possibly that old and old-fashioned that I'd be scandalized with the idea of a five-year old having a boyfriend right? I mean, look at all those snazzy, hip words I just used! I'm down wit' it, yo.

But anyway.

So I asked her what it was she needed a boyfriend for. "What do you do with a boyfriend anyway?"

"Oh, you know. We hold hands, when crossing the street. And one day we'll go to the beach and have dinner together."

"Huh? Who taught you that?"

"Oh, didn't you know? That's what Troy and Gabriella do in High School Musical!"

I make a mental note not to let her watch any more television until she's old enough to vote. I also make a mental note to have words with this Anton person, find out what her intentions are with my niece. Sure, if it's just a short-term, for-the-moment kind of arrangement, I can be persuaded to let it slide, you know, sure, be kids and play around and all that. Just no hanky-panky or anything. But man, if he's looking for a long-term relationship, then we are gonna have words. He'd better have some stable career planned out is what I'm saying. None of this "I want to be an artist someday" kind of thing. Because everyone knows how artists are flakier than dandruff. Not to mention doomed to a life of emotional immaturity and financial poverty. I should know.

"So do you love this Anton?" I ask, wanting to make sure.

And she looks at me, very inquisitively, and replies, "Why? Is that important?"

Insert stunned expression here. Niece continues eating her chicken teriyaki lunch meal. Uncle exits stage right.

2008-02-06T03:38:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night was the launch of Sundot, Pindot, Hubo't Hubad at Jaymi's Grill. A book of green jokes compiled by Jake Uichico and illustrated by yours truly, it's

Press Release: Sundot, Pindot Book Launch

2008-01-31T13:12:00.000-08:00

Heto na… ang oras ng ligaya!

You have just been propositioned
to come to the booklaunch of

Sundot Pindot,
Hubo't Hubad
really, really green text jokes
collected by Jake Uichico
with drawings by Elbert Or

Published by A&S Books
Featuring San Francisco-based stand-up comedian Allan Manalo

Jaymi's Grill
802 Arnaiz Avenue
(formerly Pasay Road)
Makati City
Tuesday 5 February 2008
6.30–8.30 P.M.

Free condom with each book purchase.
(Totoong totoo, di nagloloko!)
Courtesy of IMDC

Attire: Nude.
(Loko lang!) It's casual.

We welcome you with open legs.
It's not how short or how long you stay.
What matters is you CAME!

Love is in the Air!

2008-01-28T12:21:00.000-08:00

I didn't get to finish a new Jingle the Christmas Pig story last Christmas (though one did get published in the PGS Christmas Special - go check it out!), so this is me making up for it. Here's more sublime silliness, just in time for Valentines Day.

And next Tuesday, don't forget that we're launching a book I illustrated, called Sundot, Pindot, Hubo't Hubad. It'll be held at Jaymi's Grill in Pasay Road, 6:30 to 8:30pm; drop by, say hello, and ask me about how it is that I can work on my K-Zone comics for kids while releasing works lik these which are clearly inappropriate for kids. It's possibly schizophrenia, but I'm open to other theories.

Bits and PIeces, Here and There

2008-01-24T01:51:00.000-08:00

So that's his name.

I was talking to my mom over the phone, and she told me about what happened when she picked up my niece from school this morning. She said she found Cheska playing with some boy, and when it was time to say goodbye, my niece waves at him and says, "Anton, when you go to Ateneo, look for my uncle, okay? He's a teacher there!" And my mom, she talked about how my niece was apparently so proud of me and how she was telling her friends about me because I was a teacher too. Who knew teachers could be cool too, right?

But yeah, Anton. My niece's "boyfriend." When my mother finished her story, the first thing I say in response was, "He has a name pala, 'no?"

I should go see this boy. Find out what his intentions for my niece are. Put the fear of God in him or something like that.

As soon as I get rid of this pestilential cough. Which has been bugging me for most of the week. I've been coughing so much and so hard that my chest is starting to ache, and I'm missing out on much-needed sleep. It's phlegmy cough, which makes it even more bothersome, like there's something lodged in your throat and chest that you just can't take out. It comes at the most inopportune times too -- in the middle of lectures, meetings, things like that.

The worst part is, I don't get why this hasn't gone away yet. Five days now. I've drank all the expectorants and herbal medicines I have in my apartment (ginger helps soothe the throat), taken all the vitamin C's (both in food supplement form and in its all-natural fruity-tooty state), and drank so much water I probably pee every five minutes now. It's not like I lack exercise, either -- I work out at the gym at least twice a week, jog every day, and practice my wushu on weekends. I refuse to believe that this is evidence of the futility of exercise; I just keep on imagining how much worse off I'll probably get if I go back to a sedentary state, and it's enough to get me back on track.

I swear, sometimes I wish I can have my body exchanged. I have a factory defect and I can't even upgrade. There should be warranties in place for these kinds of things.

Despite this, I at least have been able to perform my duties. Tuesday I was able to give a talk to students at Miriam High School, about my work and how to create comics. Always rewarding, these speaking engagements. On the work front, pages for my long-delayed graphic novel continues to take shape, although the anthology has hit some snags, pushing back the schedule by a couple of weeks. I'm launching another comic strip series in a few months, and putting together a manuscript for one other thing for the second half of the year. Teacher work continues, and there seems to be no end to the piles of papers that need checking. And in a few short weeks, I start attending the last of my MA classes, in the hopes that I finish all my coursework by March and take my comprehensive exams in May.

Now check out this panel:

hee hee funnee

The February issue of K-Zone Magazine is out, by the way, and it contains a special four-page episode of Bakemono High. It continues to amaze how much I'm able to get away with in a kids' comics. But what amazes me more is how readers seem to respond strongly to the work. Which, lest you think I'm complaining, is really a very good thing, and it actually makes me feel giggly-giddy all over.

Podclasses or, How I Learned to Stop Playing with Brain Food and Actually Eat It

2008-01-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

Ever the late adopter, I’ve finally discovered podcasts, thanks to…well, no one actually introduced it to me, I was just trying to momentarily distract myself from the exhausting ordeals of marathon paper-checking when I figured out how it worked. Thanks to the wonderfully free wireless internet access at the university, I’ve been able to download and listen to podcasts from BBC Radio and NPR, as well as lectures from MIT, UC Berkeley, and Stanford. Some of them are short sessions, like Penn’s 60 Second Lecture Series about a wide range of topics, while others are lecture series on a specific subject. I’m currently “enrolled” in a Social Psychology podclass from UC Berkeley, one on Information Literacy from Otis College of Art and Design, and a series on communications and media from Stanford. I listen to at least one of them every day, usually during my workout sessions or while I’m doing my household cleaning. It only makes sense, doesn’t it? Exercise the mind while you exercise the body, and all that. I love it. It’s glorious brain food.

I just wish some of the lecturers sounded less coma-inducing though. The history lectures I downloaded, in particular, seem to all have the same subdued, monotone voice. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks on the opposite side of the spectrum – really low, and really slooow. It make you wonder if they really like what they’re doing, or are just forced into a form of academic servitude, chained at the balls and imprisoned in a library surrounded by what they must feel are the most boring books in the world I really don’t get it. Is the boring persona some kind of intentional, unannounced barrier to entry, a way of thinning the herd? A test, to see how much students really want to learn? You want to learn the secrets of the universe, really you do? “Thennn enduuure mmmy hummmdrummm voiiice forrr the nexxxt semesssterrr…” If you think sitting in a class conducted by a boring teacher is horrible, it’s worse when you only have his voice to go on – you can’t even make fun of what he’s wearing, for one. And there’s no writings on a chalkboard, or powerpoint presentations, to summarize and emphasize important points in the discussion.

Otherwise, I’m actually greatly enjoying learning things I never thought I’d still have the brain space for. More importantly, because of the way I download the podcasts – which is to say, I just choose a broad discipline like communications or literature or social sciences, and just download everything, what I’m receiving are unexpected learnings. I’m not looking for specific chunks of information, so much as stumbling upon them, or just running into them and realizing how cool or interesting some subjects can be. I feel very much like a student, where you’re sort of forced to take up subjects you won’t necessarily have chosen to take on your own but eventually realize how much you like it anyway (much like how I grew to love psychology and philosophy as an undergraduate). Except I don’t have to worry about midterms or anything like that.

So now my head is filled to the brim with all sorts of new ideas, a lot of which I’m finding very specific applications for. Some of them I’m thinking of incorporating into the subjects I teach, some of them I’m developing as story ideas for my creative work. I feel quite invigorated, more so than when I discovered Sudoku last year. Synapses jumping wildly like fleas on a dog. Doors and windows in my brain opening as daylight breaks after three weeks of rain. And the push, pull, stress, stretch, pain, relief, and joy, the joy. Oh, the glory of it all.

Today, I Am Insecurity

2008-01-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

I really should just ask her out and get it over with. But I worry that something like this might happen:

That worries me. And so, in the words of the Cinderella from the Into the Woods musical, "Then from out of the blue / And without any guide /  You know what your decision is /  Which is not to decide."

I go back to work instead. There are other things that need to be done anyway. That, at least, I'm sure I can do a good job of.

A Funny Thing Happened Over Lunch with Cheska

2008-01-20T00:41:00.000-08:00

This past week I’ve been talking to my niece Cheska over the phone almost every day, and she’s been telling me about how she has a secret that she wanted to tell me, but that that I had to see her on the weekend first before she’d say it. It’s just such a sly way of getting me to spend more time with her, I tell you. I mean, dangle a bait like that, see if I don’t take a bite. She often asks me when I’m going home, because she has no one to talk to. To which I’d often respond with, “But you live with your grandparents (my mom and dad)!” To which she’d respond with, “But they don’t like talking to me because they run out of English!” I suspect though, that the true reason why she misses me is because I’m the only adult in the family who’s willing to play Nintendo DS with her, while reciting the names of all three hundred-odd Pokemon (while summarizing episodes from the show).

So I set aside my Sundays for her, and earlier today over Tokyo Tokyo lunch I reminded her about the secret she was supposed to tell me. “Oh that,” she said, in between bites of her shrimp tempura, “I have a boyfriend now.” To which I replied…well, I couldn’t actually say anything, I was too busy choking on my food. It wasn’t until I recovered a few minutes later that I was able to say, “but you’re just five years old!”

And she tells me, patting my lap, “It’s okay, aku. Don’t worry. I’m bigger than him.”

Man, they grow up so fast.

Holy Cow, Batman! It's a Holy Cow!

2008-01-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

When I saw the statue of a cow with wings and a halo outside a restaurant in Trinoma Park, I just couldn’t resist eating there. It was named Holy Cow! pa, so really!

Thankfully, the food didn’t disappoint. I had the US Angus Boneless Beef Ribs, which was so scrumptious that I’m still licking the roof of my mouth and the spaces between its teeth just trying to find phantom tastes. On its own, it’s a little on the sweet side though, and it’s actually better with a little bit of steak sauce, which adds a more interesting variety to the taste. And oh, the tenderness of it all! You wouldn’t believe how tender the beef was; it’s more tender than a lover, really it is.

My only beef against the place – and yes, pun intended – is that on its walls were mounted fake cow heads that I found really unnerving. They were like those taxidermied deer heads hunters keep as trophies or show-off pieces for guests, except, well, that the cow heads were fake. Made of some plaster-like material.

I’m just glad that their tables were very Burgoo – just huge blank sheets of paper for place mats that kept me occupied, doodling while waiting for the food to arrive.

There is such a word as taxidermied, right? Oh, fuck it, there is now.

Good Vibes

2008-01-17T20:22:00.000-08:00

Despite a plot thinnner than one-ply tissue paper, I really really liked Across the Universe. It's a visual treat, filled with the sort of strange vibrant imagery that you can only achieve with film. And of course, Beatles music is Beatles music, and the cast acquitted themselves well with their renditions of these classics.

What I'm looking forward to now is watching Sweeney Todd over the weekend. I'm putting in some serious overtime on my comics work tonight and tomorrow morning, just to catch a screening of the new Tim Burton movie. That I'm gonna get to watch it with non-work friends is a huge bonus -- finally, non-imaginary friends who I can spend time with without lapsing into shop talk! (Because, really, it's bad enough that you're living and breathing work during the week, but if you can't even stop thinking or talking about it for even a couple of hours on a Saturday in order to enjoy a movie means there's something seriously wrong with you.)

Still, I'm happy with the way the work life has been going: The More The Manyer is going on its second printing just five months after its first release, even with a 7000 copy print run, so that's something that warms the tummy. The green joke collection I illustrated - Sundot, Pindot, Hubo't Hubad (guess who thought up the title, haha) - is launching on February 5 at Jaymi's Grill in Pasay Road, 6:30pm (come, come! pun intended!). And the graphic novel projects are actually seeing progress, which means it's likely I'll have a good number of stuff out this year. Which, in many ways, compensates for the fact that I only came out with a handful of things last year. This year, I promise myself, will be different. Just you wait and see, har har.

Antsy-Pantsy Tailoring Question

2008-01-08T15:54:00.000-08:00

I suppose I have The Regimen to thank; I still weigh the same, but I've lost two inches around the waist, and the emerging pot belly has finally been staved off (hopefully now on its way to Washboard Absville -- oh, the vanity!). I'm wondering if it's the more balanced diet, or the cardio + weight training. But who knew two inches could make such a difference? Now my pants are just uncomfortably loose, and I don't think I want to overhaul my wardrobe just yet.

Which brings me to Things-I-Wish-My-Parents-Taught-Me #73:

I know tailors can alter pants legs that are too long, but can they also alter the waistline? Without turning the pants into an ungainly mass of patchwork fabric?

Here I Am In Dream Come True...What Now?

2008-01-04T02:11:00.000-08:00

Because all I've ever wanted to be since I was a kid was to either be a storyteller or a teacher, I find myself struggling against recurring complacency. That's it, right? I'm living the dream! What else is there to do?

But getting there and staying there, obviously, are two different things entirely. I realize the need to work hard to not just maintain the status quo, but also to actually improve. I know there are a lot of things I can do to improve my teaching skills, for example, especially when teaching essay writing in English 11. Similarly, while I feel blessed having what looks alarmingly like a career as a writer and illustrator, it's only recently that I feel like my art skills are getting to where I've always imagined them to be, and even then, it's nowhere near the level I want to be.

I also try to make a point of always learning something new with every project I take on. There's always something new to learn, even in a field you've already trained and prepared for and dreamed of all your life. Finding something new about each project keeps me from being stagnant, I think, so I'm not just repeating myself work-wise. This year, for instance, I'm editing an anthology solo-flight for the first time, and stepping up to try and write a book (or two) of my own. I also realized I've never designed an album cover before, so I'll see if perhaps it's possible to get to do one.

These are just some of the things I remind myself of, when faced with the tendency to rest on laurels. You're only as good as your last work, after all, and oh how embarrassing it would be if I find myself sixty years from now, looking back, and realizing I peaked at the age of twenty-four.

Onwards and upwards, then.

What's New?

2008-01-01T02:16:00.000-08:00

It's a new year. I'm hoping it'll be nothing like the previous year, which was just horribly exhausting. There's that Sisyphus-like task I've set for myself, of juggling being a full-time student, full-time teacher, and full-time freelancer, which I've written about so many times that reading the past year's entries makes it look like I have no social life whatsoever (not that far from the truth, unsurprisingly). There was also the emotional highs and lows that I went through, one minute really happy, the next minute really sad...I actually feel emotional whiplash just thinking about it. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was already going through andropause. At the age of twenty-four.

But it's a new year. With it comes the promise of fruits bearing for seeds planted last year, and that should go a long way towards making my 2008 better than last year. To be specific about it, I'm looking forward to taking (and acing) my comprehensive exams this summer. I'm looking forward to finishing comics projects I started last year and seeing them published this year. I'm looking forward to traveling out of the country again. And, more than just planning, I'm looking forward to being surprised by whatever life throws my way.

Because it's a new year. And there's nothing like the start of the new year that makes you look forward to infinite possibilities. I'm excited, and I'm actually surprised at how I'm still able to feel this way, despite the world-weary cynicism that seems to grow in proportion to my age.

But no, it's a new year.

My New Year's Resolution

2007-12-27T17:17:00.000-08:00

This year my new year's resolution is to make no more resolutions. Whoop whoop!

Happy new year, everyone!

2007-12-21T00:48:00.001-08:00

Living alone in an apartment with neither television nor radio meant that for the most part, I was spared from a lot of the Hip New Things that everyone else was into. Instead, I rediscovered much of the eighties and nineties music that I didn’t remember I liked until I heard them again. Sinead O’ Connor and The Pogues singing “Haunted” from the mid-90’s was one of the singles on heavy rotation in my iPod all year.

Thanks to friends and students though, I was introduced to all sorts of new music, including French avant-pop singer Camille and Finnish acapella group Club for Five. My inability to understand a single word they’re singing doesn’t prevent me from listening to Camille’s funky “Ta Douleur” and Club for Five’s bouncy “Kella Kulta, Silla Onni” over and over and over again.

I also spent a lot of time listening to Wes Anderson soundtracks, in anticipation for his latest movie, The Darjeeling Unlimited. “These Days” by Nico is from The Royal Tenenbaums I play on quiet mornings, and “Life on Mars” by Seu Jorge from The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou during my post-dinner walks at night. The other soundtrack that kept playing on loop was from the movie Across the Universe, a musical extravaganza featuring covers of Beatles music, similar to the I Am Sam soundtrack from a few years ago. Evan Rachel Wood’s version of “If I Fell” is a particular favorite.

Music from Rufus Wainwright filled my ears while checking papers, whether it’s his Poses album (with “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” on perpetual repeat) or his movie soundtrack repertoire (which includes Meet the Robinsons, Moulin Rouge, I Am Sam, and Wig in a Box: Music inspired by Hedwig and the Angry Inch). “Complainte de la Butte” is from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, and is just the right amount of whimsy for those lazy Sunday afternoons.

A lot of bands were also on my iPod playlist a lot - Snow Patrol, Cute is What We Aim For, Mayday Parade, Quietdrive, The Arcade Fire, Feist, Click Five, Field Music, The Fray, Keane, The Lucksmiths, Mika, OK Go, Sino Sikat?, Up Dharma Down, Starsailor, Belle and Sebastian, U2, Coldplay, The Killers, Maroon 5, Dashboard Confessional, The Rocket Summer, and Anberlin all competed for playtime. In the end, Augustana’s “Boston” and Anberlin’s “Inevitable” won out.

Of the songs that actually came out this year (as opposed to music I just discovered, or re-discovered this year), I enjoyed Colbie Calliat “Bubbly” a lot, purely for its light, bouncy melodies. Very easy on the ears; she’s very eays on the eyes too. But anyway, better if you just give the song (and all the other songs I mentioned) a listen yourself. It’s over on my Multiply account. Conside

Music That Got Me Through 2007

2007-12-21T00:48:00.000-08:00

Holidazed and Confused

2007-12-18T18:43:00.000-08:00

It occurs to me only now that, with very few exceptions, I haven’t actually done any Christmas shopping yet. Not that I feel any sense of urgency to do so. I haven’t even had much time to think about what to get friends and family, since I’ve been preoccupied with my duties as a multi-hyphenate (teacher-student-writer-illustrator-comic book creator). The few times I had the chance to pass by a shopping center, I found myself horribly discouraged by the sight of hordes of shoppers making their own last-minute holiday purchases.

I tell myself that Christmas is not the only time of the year when I can show my appreciation for family and friends. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Nevertheless, if there’s one time of the year when you can get away with maudlin sentimentality, Christmas is it. Might as well take advantage by saying or doing the things you’d otherwise be too embarrassed to, right?

And while I may not feel any sense of urgency, I do feel some guilt over not having shopped for gifts. Especially since some friends have already sent their gifts out early, and let me tell you, nothing beats early Christmas gifts as reminders that you should buy them gifts for Christmas as well. It says something though, doesn’t it, when the only reason why I’d shop for gifts is because out of a sense of obligation and guilt? Does it even matter to the recipient why the gift was given, as long as something was given?

Plus, I do like receiving gifts. Handy notebooks, graphic novels, DVD’s, art materials, shirts - whoever said we should all move past such worldly desires and earthly materials probably doesn’t receive too many gifts on Christmas. Not that I do, either, but that only makes the gifts I do receive all the more precious. (Except maybe for mugs - how many mugs do you need in a lifetime anyway that people keep giving them to you for Christmas? And birthdays?) But I can’t reasonably expect to receive gifts without giving some myself now, can I? Break eggs in order to make eggs, or something like that.

I wonder, though, if perhaps I’m getting Christmas all wrong if, of all the things I could possibly worry about, I’m worrying about how I haven’t been able to get any shopping done.

My Patience Grows Thinner As Christmas Comes Nearer

2007-12-12T15:02:00.000-08:00

I find that as far as sources of unhappiness go, my patience grows thinner as Christmas comes nearer. So determined am I to be happy this Christmas season, that I just won't allow anyone and anything to ruin my disposition. The irony, of course, is that I end up becoming frustrated more than ever before, which completely ruins things.

I wonder now how much influence the will has on the emotions. Can anyone just be willfully happy, or willfully depressed? Can you just decide to feel something, as easily as you'd flip a switch? How much control do you really have over what you feel?

Well?

Dwelling

2007-11-29T20:49:00.000-08:00

Dwell is one of those strange words. To dwell means "to linger"; the Old English from which the word came from uses it to mean "delay," or "hinder." Your eyes dwell on a certain someone for a moment. Perhaps they dwell on that certain someone's eyes. Or smile. Or butt. There is a sense of transcience to the word. It suggests that you may be dwelling now, in one place, but tomorrow you will move on to another. But to dwell also means "to live in," as in "Certain tribesmen still dwell in caves." In it, there is a suggestion of permanence - as if to say if you dwell on something or somewhere long enough, you'll find yourself stuck there forever.

The past is a strange place. It is both concrete and abstract, it is both here and not here. You know the past is real, it really happened, perhaps you were even there when it did. But at the same time, the past that you remember is an abstraction, it is not the here and now, and exists only in your head. It no longer exists, yet each time we reminisce, we drag the past kicking and screaming into the present, and comes alive again. What's perhaps strange about it is that it is both real and unreal - whatever reality the past was based on has been, through hindsight, stripped of elements and details that we deem superfluous. And so a dominant impression arises - the emotional core of the moment that may be joy or melancholy, trauma or ecstasy.

It is here, in the recesses of the past, that we dwell. For a moment, perhaps, we delay. We tune out the confusing morass that is the present and remember the past, or at least a version of it that we have already made sense of. Perhaps, we recall a happier past, and wonder why things aren't as good "as they used to be," not realizing that the way you thought things were, never actually were.

Too often, it is the precisely the desire for things to stay the same, or to return to a previous state, that keeps us trapped in a state of misery. For things change, of that we have no control over. Yet we don't want them to, the fear of the unknown is just too strong, and so we are unable to recognize the happiness that can be found before our very eyes.

We wonder, "where is it?" Where is this ever-elusive happiness? Perhaps if we stop looking back on the past, even for just a moment...perhaps if we just turn around and look at what's right before us, we will find it. Right there in front of us. Recognition. There you are, right there all along.

Nekkid Kid

2007-11-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

One of the things that's keeping me busy is a commissioned set of illustrations that will accompany a collection of green jokes. Apparently, the hope is that my propensity for drawing cute things will help balance out the obscenity. As if I were ever so wholesome.

I've never drawn so much nudity for any single project though. And oh, the horror! Oh, the variety! I'm drawing topless old men, topless old women, naked midget (sorry, little people) butts, and - hey! - full frontal child nudity:

A three-year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
“Mom,” he asked, “are these my brains?”
“Not yet,” she replied.

I wonder how much trouble I'll get into for this. I guess you'll all find out, if the next blog entry is posted from behind bars. (Can you go to jail for impropriety?)

Forever Catching Up

2007-11-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

The sound of the rain falling on the roof deck reminds me of spitting fire, but the idea fails to warm me against the cold night breeze. I think about the events of the past few days, in an effort to distract myself from unending queue of freelance- and teaching-related tasks that always, always demands my immediate, undivided attention.

Because a list is easier to write than a coherent essay, here’s what happened the past few days:

1. Catching the preview night of Tanghalang Ateneo’s The Death of Memory last Friday with fellow teachers. Theater never fails to amaze me; whatever talents I may delude myself into believing I possess, watching performers on stage reminds me that acting will never be one of them. (It’s funny how someone can just sit beside you and suddenly you’re a high school kid again, all awkwardness, uncertainty, and silly, giddy delight.)

2. Experiencing little moments that make me feel all warm and fuzzy – being asked to dance, and being forgiven for having all the gracefulness of a hippo in flight; receiving random messages of gratitude from former students for lessons learned both inside and outside class; listening to students share unexpected insights; basking in the presence of a writing hero (Neil Gaiman) and meeting other writers I have long admired (Hi Ian!); spending an afternoon with Sage, who lives up to her name, and continues to exhibit wisdom beyond her age; and watching friends and colleagues receive awards and accolades they so richly deserve. (What is the sound of one geek gushing? And does it still exist if no one is around to listen to it?)

Damn, it’s cold up here. I’m all goosebumps and stiff nipples now. Anyway.

3. Cleaning the bathroom is cathartic. If only you can use Domex all the bad things in life away. Perhaps muriatic acid will be more effective.

4. Buying more books than you can read, but loving the idea of a lining the apartment with books anyway. I even make sure my editions have beautifully designed covers, so that in the event that I hate the book or for some other reason that I can’t bear to finish it, they’ll make for lovely decorations.

5. Making good progress on projects; at this rate, I should have one more book I illustrated out before the year ends; an anthology I’m editing out by first quarter of next year; two graphic novel scripts which I hope can be illustrated and released sometime 2008; and at least eight more episodes of Bakemono High for K-Zone Magazine.

That said, I’m hoping to finish the bulk of my work slate before June, since I’ll be starting my thesis for the Master’s Degree then, and I don’t want to be distracted by a lot of other things. I might even take a break from teaching in the summer, and take on less illustration work, with the exception of an entry for the 3rd Fully Booked Graphic/Fiction competition, which I really should finally join. I’m also determined to join the Palanca, and have actually started work on a couple of stories, but as writing is emotionally and mentally draining for me, it’s still too soon to tell if I’m actually going to be able to finish anything in time, on top of all other work.

Still, it would be nice if I do, no?

Alternatives

2007-11-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Today was spent giving a two-hour workshop to a group of students at Assumption San Lorenzo, as part of their annual alternative class program. (This, despite a leg injury that, like an unwanted ex-girlfriend, seems to have no intention of going away.) I like giving out short workshops like these, not only because of the opportunity to travel and meet new people, but because I like how alternative classes are able to provide for new learning opportunities for students, by offering them short courses on things that actually interest them. It just goes to show how learning isn't and shouldn't necessarily be confined to the classroom.

On a similar note, what greeted me when I opened my inbox today was a deluge of e-mail from my students, continuing discussions from class through the e-group. In the past, I've always been bothered by how my own class e-groups were generally just used for announcing assigned readings and free cuts, only to be neglected and left unused after the semester is through; so to actually see my original intention of making use of e-groups as an alternative learning environment come to fruition is something I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy over. That it has encouraged some of my more shy students to actually throw their two cents in, and for them to actually impress me by their depth of thought, is a super huge bonus indeed.

Everyone Has A Camera But Me...

2007-11-18T23:41:00.000-08:00

So I capture what I can with words instead.A lot of other people in the blogosphere have photos galore of Saturday's 3rd Annual Komikon at UP, including Azrael, who gets dubbed the "Tim Yap of Pinoy Komiks" a lot. I'm not sure how he feels about that.This year, by far, was one of the most exciting conventions ever. I was amazed by the sheer amount of new creations that were released that I had such a hard time keeping myself from buying everything in sight. Independent works from both students and professionals were still predominantly manga-influenced, though there was also an increasing variety of art styles on display, and there seems to be a greater attempt at incorporating elements from Philippine culture, particularly (and unsurprisingly) the folklore. Of course, the challenge now is to actually continue to create, and even to find ways of getting the work out there without having to wait for an annual comic book convention.A veritable who's who of local comics creators were also there, and I got to talk to a number of them about their current releases and future plans - if even half of these plans come to fruition then next year looks to be an even more interesting year for the cottage industry of comics. The amount of activity - from new publishers jumping into the pool (come on in, the water's great!) to existing ones like Mango gearing up for a new wave of releases (hurrah for you guys!) - might even get me to stop referring to it as a cottage industry. Who knows?I'm also, of course, gearing up for a busy 2008 - not that I'm not busy right now - which partly explains why I wasn't able to come out with anything new for the convention. At least, not comics-wise. But I was able to bring - and sell - copies of my latest work, The More The Manyer. What's interesting for me is that a lot of the copies I sold were because people knew of the previous work I've done or were familiar with my name. Which means I must doing something right, and only serves to encourage me to continue working hard to make each project the best it can possibly be. Let's not let all that reputation-building effort go to waste.I just have to say that conventions are wonderful ego-boosting opportunities for me. I get to interact with people who read my work and find out what they liked about them - even with work I did two years ago that I now find embarrassingly unreadable. Signing books and having photos taken is also fun. It's like I get to act like a third-string celebrity and not have to feel awkward or guilty about it.Also fun was being called on to judge a storytelling contest using Talecraft, the story creation card game, and getting to meet its creator Ria. I like Talecraft - I find it a useful story creation aid, and an entertaining mental exercise. I even use it in some of my comics production workshops. So being able to see more people use it is, for me, a Very Good Thing.The best part of the convention, of course, is just being able to hang out with friends like Carl and Marco and Joel and Jonas (thanks for letting me take refuge in your booth!) who I simply don't get to see enough, what with all the work we have on our plates getting in the way of being idle. Sharing booth space and selling our books gave us the opportunity to chat and talk shop. There's always something to talk about, and more that we wanted to but didn't have time for, but it's okay. There's always the next time we meet, when we can just pick up right where we left off.Ultimately, all this wouldn't be possible without the herculean efforts of the organizers from Artists Den and their partners and sponsors. You guys deserve all the thanks you can get, and then some! Huzzah huzzah!

Yesterday, Today, and Saturday

2007-11-14T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I spent most of my first day as a 24-year old at work, working, working. But thank you to everyone who greeted me through text, email, and in person - family and friends, my wonderful students, colleagues, and even people who I have not heard from in ages or did not expect to hear from and still greeted me anyway. I love you all, but you already know that, right?

Today, it's been raining cats, dogs, frogs, and plagues. I had to conduct my comics production class while my shoes went squish-squish every time I walked. Days like these should be spent indoors, instead, feet propped up, a good book in one hand, and a cup of hot chocolate in the other.

Saturday, I'll be at the Komikon in UP Bahay ng Alumni, selling and signing copies of my book The More The Manyer at a special discounted price. Send money my way, please.

In fact, if any of you are interested in buying multiple copies, to send as gifts to loved ones this Christmas (come on, it's a good idea!) can just get in touch with me so you can avail of bulk discounts.

Whilst in Seclusion...

2007-11-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm back from another of my periodic disappearing acts, I've discovered a number of things:

1. No less than three of my friends have found love lives anew, and realized that yes, their hearts have thawed out and that thump-thump-thumping they've been hearing is not high blood pressure they acquired from all the sugar and cholesterol but their hearts beating again. Good for you. Your happiness is mine, I will live vicariously through yours. And I mean it in the most sincere, least bitter manner possible, I promise.

2. I am, after all, capable of leaving work behind. For a maximum of four days. Before it starts creeping into my mind again, or before the work left behind comes snapping at my heels. I should stop saying things like "I'll take a break after this last project," or "I should slow down," because I fucking never do. It's all One. Big. Lie.

3. I'm turning 24 in fourteenth, but I'm still four items away from completing my "Thing To Do Before You're 25." Seeing as how "Get Published Before You're 18" is no longer a possibility short of inventing a time machine, as is "Find A Girlfriend," and since "Write and Illustrate A Graphic Novel Of Your Own" is already (and thankfully) underway, I must now set my sights on "Winning a Palanca or National Book Award." I have one year to do it, plenty of time. (But never enough.)

4. The coming week is horrendously busy (when hasn't it been?) -- a meet and greet with Ben Templesmith (v.excited) and freelance-related paperwork on Monday, three comics scripts to finish by Tuesday, a TV interview and Faculty Orientation on Wednesday, Enrollment for my MA and finishing a new Bakemono High on Thursday, and another book launch on Friday. Add to that increasingly horrendous work load that includes a graphic novel I'm writing and another (long overdue) that I'm illustrating, an anthology that I'm editing, regular magazine work, part-time teaching, and studying for my MA, and you can just imagine how my being back is pretty much the same as me being in seclusion - which is to say, no social interaction with friends whatsoever.

Man, someone should teach me to sing a new tune. I feel like a broken record (a reference which my students, in their youth, might already be unfamiliar with)!

Where My Feet Will Take Me

2007-11-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

On the ride back to the city, I get stuck in traffic and am mesmerized by the headlights of cars along the highway. They remind me of fireflies. I check my phone for the time - it is 10:15 pm. 10:20. 10:23. 10:28. 10:30. I look out the window. We must have moved a foot and a half in that time. I focus instead on these fireflies of Manila, thinking about the unreliability of time, how it can move faster or slower whenever it feels like it. I think about how here, especially, in the city, in transit, time moves slowest, and I know that I am home.

So, having spent some time outside the city, traveling, I wonder how have these experiences changed me? What have I learned? Did I even learn anything? Or am I just moving, just running away, from things I have no patience (or, sometimes, courage) to deal with?

Travel, I realized, is as much a journey of self-discovery as it is a discovery of the world outside your comfort zone. It's never as postcard pretty as the brochures and guidebooks would make it out to be, but then again, neither am I. But places, and people, can show you as much about yourself...if one is willing to look. Self-examination, and reflection. How do these people live? How do I live? How are they different from me? How are we all the same? Travel can test your limits, question your preconceived notions, shake your unshakeable beliefs. It can change a person, and hopefully, for the better.

I like traveling for these, and many more reasons. I realized too, though, that whatever delights I may experience from traveling is tainted by the future. The here-and-now-ness is broken by worries of financial status, for one, and the anticipation of work that awaits my return. "It's the real world," a friend says, "calling you back."

But that implies all this - the sensations of places I've never been to, and most likely won't ever be in again, or even of places I've visited so often I almost inhabit them but not really - aren't as real. That the joys of relaxation - of wandering without destination - is somehow not as real as the stresses of civilization. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

But home I go, anyway, to these fireflies that make time seem to move slower. Another fifteen minutes, and I step down the taxi, and decide to walk the rest of the way home. It's a bit of a ways off still, my apartment, but no matter. Where my feet will take me, that's where I'm meant to be.

K-Zone Komiks Kavalkade!

2007-10-27T01:34:00.000-07:00

This month's issue of K-Zone is an issue you will want to buy. And not just for the lyrics to High School Musical 2 songs, although that's in it too.You'll want to buy the November issue of K-Zone, because it's the Special Comics Issue, with not one, but two new Bakemono High stories, written and illustrated by yours truly, and a special comics poster written by me (and illustrated by Alex Sandoval) featuring The Many Adventures of Stephanie Smee. There's also a new story featuring sci-fi super-kid Kid Continuum written by Vin Simbulan and illustrated by Andrew Drilon, so really, what more could you want?

Quitting While You're Ahead

2007-10-26T15:38:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine called me up to tell me that he’s been considering breaking up with his girlfriend. He told me about how the girlfriend is planning to move to another country next year, and how he can’t follow her because he has his own career to pursue. Better to break it off now, while she's here, while her friends, her support system are around to help her adjust, rather than when she's in another country, alone and heartbroken because they couldn't take the strain of a long-distance relationship. I mean, that's where it's headed anyway, right? Split City, capital of the federal state of Heartbreak? And anyway, lately it seems like all they do is fight and argue over the silliest things. According to him - and I'm quoting now - they should just "quit while they're ahead."

Let me tell you what I told him: "quitting while you’re ahead" is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

And I know ridiculous - I hang out with writers and artists, after all, most of whom are perpetually stricken with verbal diarrhea. "Ridiculous" comes out at a frequency and regularity so alarming that atomic clocks can actually set their time to it.

"Quitting while you're ahead"? If I extend that logic then, really, you should just kill yourself now. I mean, you're gonna die eventually, right? Better to kill yourself now, while you're young and still relatively pretty, with a career to speak of and friends and loved ones who will still remember to attend your funeral. Don't wait until you're old, doddering, and sixty years old, toothless, hairless, with nothing to your name except a colostomy bag or a supply of Depends that you can't even put on yourself. See, that's quitting while you're ahead.

To end a relationship because you have this silly notion that it'll eventually end anyway - it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. One born out of cowardice, I should say. It's a great waste, to live in fear of some undetermined future, at the expense of the certainty of the here and now.

A possible future where you will part ways is something that looms over every relationship in this world where nothing about the future is ever certain. If nothing else, it should instead encourage you to make the most of the time you have now. If all you have is the present, then own it. Don't lose that one thing you have for certain.

Spend these days - the time between now and when she'll leave the country - making a relationship that you can look back on and say you had a good thing going. So that when you're far apart, you have all these good memories to draw from, that will show you that this relationship is indeed worth fighting for.

Because if all you can remember of the relationship are of you two arguing with each other about whether you should quit while you're ahead or not and save the both of you the heartbreak, then really, there's nothing there to convince you that the relationship is worth sticking with, and it would be better to just move on.